Today we are hearing from a twin mom, sharing her faith walk coming from infertility to twins in the NICU. I always love to hear from other twin moms so I’m thankful for one of “Your Twin Mom” members, Kelly, joining us for a Twinterview.
P.S. Hi! I’m Tracy, a Jesus loving wife, twin mom blogger here at YTM and children’s author of a new #1 Best-Selling children’s picture book “Zoe in Double Trouble”!
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It is great to connect with more moms and see the fellowship that surrounds us. We are not alone and when we share our struggles and how God brought us through, we can uplift each other. So, let’s hear from Kelly on how she let God bring her through her first year with twins.
Tracy: How did you feel when you found out you would be a mom of twins?
Kelly: Complete disbelief. Honestly, discovering I was pregnant to start with was a shock in itself. So, honestly, when I found I was pregnant with twins, the dismay only doubled. It seemed like I was just standing outside a dream and watching the ‘movie’ take place. I was told I would never have children and I honestly never thought I would have the opportunity to be a mom. I didn’t get married until I was 39 years old and then 3 months later I find out I am pregnant. No, we weren’t trying. We had no clue that it was even possible. I was diagnosed with PCOS several years ago and the chances were few and far in between. I even had a doctor several years ago try to convince me to have a full hysterectomy. My mom who is a retired nurse talked me into getting a second opinion and I eventually changed doctors. My current OB is amazing. She was able to pinpoint some problems and get my hormones regulated. She really didn’t feel like surgery was necessary.
But my doctor, along with us, still didn’t think pregnancy would be a quick option for us. We thought we would have to take extra measures to see it happen. Cody and I had already looked at adoption. We knew we wanted to have kids of our own, but we thought we would have to either choose the route of foster care or adoption. While we were engaged and Cody, who is a minister and aiming to go to Seminary, found out that his new place employment offered adoption assistance for full-time employees. We really thought this was God’s way of working miracles for us.
Little, did we know at that time, he had different plans. Cody had applied for a scholarship to attend seminary at New Orleans Seminary and really thought he would get it. He was associate pastor at a small church in Huntsville and felt like God had opened that door wide open for him.
Once again, though, God had different plans. We didn’t know it at the time, but he shut that door unexpectedly and of course Cody and I both were disappointed. We just had no idea the path God was taking us down at that time.
We didn’t realize that we would find out we were pregnant, let alone be told we were expecting twins, just 3 months into our marriage.
I see now God knew the journey we were about to go down and that Seminary/moving off far away from family needed to be on the back burner for a while.
We didn’t see then; but now we do.
T: What miracles has God planted in your life as a twin mom? Is there a story where you felt his presence more than others?
K: Like I said above, just being told I was pregnant was a miracle in itself. However, if I had to pinpoint a particular story, it would be our journey through the NICU. Samuel John and Noah Lavene were born on May 2, 2018. They were born 2 months early and so that meant they would have to stay in the Neonatal Intensive Care for 2 months. During that time, we struggled physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually because we were having to leave the boys at the NICU (an hour away in Huntsville) during the week. Both of us had to work and we couldn’t stay at the hospital every day. It broke my heart to leave my babies and go back to work. The drive back and forth was mentally and financially straining. We missed church on Sundays and I felt like we were being pulled in so many directions. However, God showed us how much we were loved when people we barely knew, along with our wonderful friends and family, providing us with financial blessings, bringing us food, and coming us to see us. There were days when we didn’t know how we were going to make it, but God always provided and saw us through.
Through a journey, we have met so many wonderful friends. Social media, of course, has allowed us to keep up our new friends and see their progress. We have been able to help other parents who have a child in the NICU now. Back in October, the NICU group was having a fundraiser and because of our heart for the NICU, we wanted to help raise money. We donated Auburn season tickets to be auctioned off and all of the money was given back to the unit. ☺
You ask about feeling God’s presence and when we felt it most, but to be honest, we felt it daily throughout our journey. I remember crying my eyes out when I watched as a mother had to say goodbye to her son, born at 25 weeks. He didn’t make it out of the NICU and my heart just broke for her.
Through the course of time, I have seen how God has blessed her family and now she is pregnant again. I would have never met her or become friends with her if it had not been for our affiliation through the NICU.
God was present every day, every second, every minute and just everywhere.
T: What does a typical day look like for you? How do you make time for God & being spiritually fed as a busy mom?
K: A typical day for me is very busy. I have to get up at 6 a.m. daily to get the boys ready for Daycare. They have to be fed and changed before I drop them off. I work until 4:30 p.m. and if my husband doesn’t get off before me, then it is my responsibility to pick them boys up at the daycare. He usually goes into work at 5 a.m. and most often arrives home first. However, lately, that just has not been the case. Work is very time consuming as I am an Editor/Publisher for a Cullman County Senior Magazine and publication.
My job involves always being on the go at work. And of course, my husband is a pastor so we stay busy with church activities too. I try to read my daily devotion every morning before I go to work (but lately it has been at lunch). Cody is currently serving as a Youth Minster at Hughes Memorial Baptist Church in Pinson, Alabama so we are extremely busy on Wednesdays and Sundays….
He and I both try to pray together before every meal as well.
T: What has been your biggest struggle as a twin mom and how have you built endurance? Is there a scripture that has helped you through?
K: Going back to work and working full time as a twin mom, has been so hard for me. I have struggled with the fact that we can’t afford for me to stay at home and leaving my babies with someone.
In January, we had no choice but to put them in daycare and it broke my heart. We are blessed in the fact that my mother in law keeps the boys 2 days a week but the other 3, we just couldn’t afford all the fees for the nanny I wanted. So after doing a lot of praying, my husband and I decided daycare was the best option.
Blessed, though, a good friend of mine owns a local daycare and I felt safe putting Samuel and Noah in her center.
Honestly, I just tend to worry about a lot of things and I am learning that you can’t worry about everything.
My go-to scripture always tend to be is: Isaiah 41:10 :” So don’t worry, because I am with you. Don’t be afraid because I am your God. I will make you strong and I will help you; I will support you with my right hand that saves you.”
T: What has been your favorite mom tip that has helped you the most as a mom of twins?
K: One of the best things I did was join a local area Multiples Mom of Twins group. These women have helped me so much when it comes to understanding what it takes to be a mom of twins.
I had to learn how to be more organized and prepared when it came to managing two babies. I’ve learned how to take naps when they are sleeping and not to stress because my home isn’t as clean as in the past. There are so many tips I have learned, it really is hard to just sit down and pinpoint one.
However, the best tip, of all, lately has been to learn how to breathe………and enjoy my babies every second I have. I just recently had a friend who lost her 4 year old in a car accident. The moment I heard about her son, I grabbed my boys up and wouldn’t stop hugging them.
Life is so short. I am learning to not to stress about the future, and just enjoy every second I have with my miracle babies.
What a blessing to have Kelly share her faith walk! We hope it blesses you on your mom journey! Now back to you mamas, how have you seen God bless you in your struggles as a twin mom?
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Hugs and God bless you!