Motherhood, especially with twins or multiples, plus if it’s early motherhood can be isolating. Remember you are not alone.
Here are 15 tips that helped me enjoy my first year with twins in my own way…not like I was perky all the time, but I can look back and know that behind the sweat and the tears, I enjoyed it too! You know everyone says “enjoy it when they’re young”-remember it’s okay to struggle to feel happy all the time, but you can be at peace knowing you are exactly where God destined you to be. You got this!
P.S. Hi! I’m Tracy, a teacher made mom to twins plus one sharing momspiration and my children’s book “Zoe in Double Trouble” for twin families! Enjoy Your Twin Mom Family and connect with me below! I always love to hear from other twin moms or even moms that love to get momspired!
15 Tips to Help You Enjoy Your First Year with Twins:
Pray-Sometimes people laugh when I say “pray” but any time it all got to be too much, I prayed every time it was hard. I remember feeling so alone in the middle of the night, trying to nurse two babies with my one body and I just prayed with tears streaming down my face. A peaceful, quiet prayer just helped me feel Jesus’ lovelight; I could just feel Him hugging me on my right side as I rocked in that hard rocking chair and it brought peace and love over me and my babies. In those moments, my trust and love grew because I was learning that anything is possible with God.
Believe & Connect- you were destined to do this. Get momspired with “5 ways to be an Amazing Twin Mom” and join Your Twin Mom Group in our fb live on “Twin Momspiration Tuesdays”. We’d love to have you! Connection is important, even if it’s online or on the phone; find mamas that can relate with you (because twin mom life is something beautiful but it is different).
Give yourself time to heal but believe you can do anything-do you want to breastfeed, do you want to bottle feed, do you want them to sleep with you or on their own? Whatever you want-they are your goals and you can do it! It was hard recovering from a c-section while brestfeeding 2 babies weighing 7 pounds, but it was a sign of the blessings in my life for a healthy twin pregnancy and doing the best I could in my hardest moments.
To help calm the babies: pacifiers and 2 swings helped me. So while one was waiting to be nursed, the other one had a pacifier and was in a swing. If someone was there to help, I asked them to hold one baby and rock them until I could calm with that baby. It also helped me to have something to break up the day with them, like some fun kids activities for babies. Reading was one of my favorite activities with them!
Sleeping tips: 2 V-chairs helped in the first couple of months with acid reflux and as they transitioned into the crib, they both slept together where they could touch hands until they were six months. As they grew, we continued to put their little feet closer and closer together.
Feeding Tips: It helped me to have a nursing station in each room where I nursed. Like, I’d have a set of burp cloths, diapers, and boppy pillows there so I could have everything I needed for them in one spot without getting up to leave them. I also had a big jug of water for myself because I knew I needed to drink a lot to keep up with breastfeeding them.
Clothes Tips: there are some communities that have local Multiples Groups that sometimes have hand me downs. I loved hand-me-downs especially in that messy first year when you are changing the babies often! We had a couple premie clothes on hand, up until we knew their birth weight was over 5 pounds. Then we just bought 0-3 months. Sometimes I had fun dressing my twin girls alike and other times, I loved dressing them uniquely! Do whatever makes your heart happy:)
Keep a Journal-Many moms say the first year with twins is a blur and a lot of it was. One thing that helped was writing down one sentence of how I felt or something I loved or a milestone each day or weekly in a journal. Now, I keep a journal for each of my children…when you first, you said “mama” I felt so loved.
Have Fun and Take pictures-with your phone or DSLR camera-whatever you can do, just schedule in some picture time for each milestone to highlight good moments like little kids activities things you do together for family connection and to help you see that really are doing a lot of good mama-even when it doesn’t feel like it!
Laugh a little or a lot-My first children’s book, “Zoe in Double Trouble” came about because of the many messy twin mom moments and I just know it will make you laugh too! I remember one of my twins having this big spit up moment where Auntie had goop drenching in her hair….we all laughed even though it was really gross. Laughter and lots of love lightens up the crazy moments. Can’t wait to share with your twin mom family when the book is published! Get momspired and connect with your twin mom family below! We’d love to have you!
Talk to your husband and love on him too-I used to think it took more energy to love on more people, but now I know it just makes everything better. One little thing I knew I could do was smile for him when he got home from work. Yes it’s good to still be honest with him about what is going on that day but remember they are struggling too and deep down the twin dads just want to know how to support us twin moms. I’m not saying to be fake, I’m just saying it will help to see the good in your day and share that with him before you let him know how you need his help.
Embrace the mess-as my good family friend June says “you’ll wipe up the dust and it will be back the next day, but these babies are what matter and they won’t be little forever”. It doesn’t mean we have to be smiling every moment of motherhood but we can know it’s okay to be a messy mom if it means we are putting our kids first. I have learned that raising kids alone takes all day and all night!
Know what keeps you sane-pick 3-5 main things that you are hoping to keep control over; is it no clutter or is it healthy meals. For me, it was making sure to get active and walk, invite friends, and try to make healthy baby food. This meant dishes and laundry were lower for me at the time (until I could catch up on household duties or just have someone help you catch up like a friend or a grandma or a hubby). I’m kind of a home body, so taking walks around our neighborhoods helped me. Still though, it takes more planning and prep when you are going out with twins. A double stroller and snacks always saved me. For outings, I knew I’d have more fun if I went with family like below:)
Remember you have your own way! Everyone tells us how to do things and I remember the first twin mom I met right after giving birth to my twins was a nurse telling me, “the only way you’ll survive with twins is with lots of help”. It was discouraging because although yes I have a helpful hubby, I knew I would have lots of times alone with my twins and I thought I would only be okay if I had a helper all the time like she did! And you know what I did it my own way with lots of alone twin mom moments and I love the way I mother now:)
See the good you are doing-sometimes I will admit I had a hard time being positive for outings with playdates and such, mostly because I felt like I just couldn’t get out or do much without struggling. I felt like other moms with just one baby were able to do so much more, like just go to the park or “mommy and me’s” and I just felt too overwhelmed in that first year. When I tried to take them to playdates on my own, I always wished someone would come over and offer me a hand knowing how intense it is to bring infant/toddler twins anywhere on your own-but the truth of it is other moms are struggling too, so just know its hard but move forward in love, not grumpiness and give yourself grace.
Thank you for being such a glorious God!
Thank you for these two blessings and that you believe in me that I can be a wonderful mom to them!
Thank you for being there for me in every moment, whether it be when they are crying and I feel I am not enough to comfort them and you join us with comfort or when they are both laughing together and you join us in delight.
Thank you Lord God that you love all of us so so much, that you have given us more moms that can be there and understand us. Lord God, we ask that you surround us with kind loving friends and family to help us and for you to speak though in encouragement when we feel low.
We know we are not perfect but we know that your love for us and for each of our babies and our families is perfect and everlasting.
We love you so so much dear God!
In Jesus’ name we pray,
You’re already a wonderful twin mom! These are just tips that helped me and if anything, I hope they help you know you are not alone! Get momspired with Your Twin Mom Family below!!
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or a pediatrician, so please consult your doctor if you have any questions for your babies.